LOST DEAF PET

LOST ONE LARGE DEAF APE who believes he’s a king. Last seen scaling a very large building in the New York area fighting off an array of planes. Is known to be fond of blondes and bananas. Need him back for a sqeuel and merchandising rights. Contact Fookem, Bug, JFLMad, or Jimactor ASAP at 800-ban-nana

 

WANTED

WORM CIRCUS I’d like to put together a worm circus. So I’m looking for a few dozen well-trained worms to start my circus up. And if you have any strange looking cockroaches, they’d be good for my freak show. So I’ll buy them too. Must be able to follow directions well. They MUST know ASL. Call me at 800-BUZZ-BUGS.

I’M VERY DEAF BUT I HEAR EVERYTHING

I’M VERY DEAF BUT I HEAR Everything (Mar, 1950)

Deaf Worms For Sale

We sell a can of hearing worms for $3.00. Deaf worms for $10. You will catch more fish if you buy a can of deaf worms because they can sign. It’s easy for the fish to notice them than non-signing worms on the hook. If you buy 3 cans of deaf worms, you will get a free hearing aid (because it looks like a worm, right? Fish will love you.) If interested, email us.

Free Frogs

Please come and get them for free. My friends said people eat them. You can find the creepies at my bedroom window. They are stalking me. I don’t know why they wait for me to come outside. Call 800-bug-safe.