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Deaf Jokes

August 12, 2008

The Invisible Handicap
A hearing man was fascinated with a deaf woman who was sitting in a bar. He decided to strike up a conversation with her by writing notes on a piece of paper. To his delight, she was friendly enough to write aback. They wrote back and forth for some time. Another man jumped into the conversation and began to write too. All three continued their conversation by writing. After a while, the deaf woman realized she was late for a commitment and told her new friends that she needed to leave. The two men waved good-bye and continued to write, not realizing that neither one of them was deaf.

Birds on a Telephone Line
A child asked his father why the birds on a telephone line were kind of jumpy while other birds on a different line were sitting quietly. After a moment of thinking, his father replied that that particular line was a TTY line, causing the birds to jump.

King Kong
On a hot summer day, many people were frolicking at a local beach until King Kong appeared on the scene. Seeing the huge ape, people began to scream and hustle off the beach, except for one lovely young lady. Unaware of all the commotion, the woman continued to sunbathe peacefully. Having scared everyone away, King Kong approached the only remaining person on the beach and scooped her in his hands. She was frightened and began to scream. King Kong tried to tell her how beautiful she was. She indicated that she was Deaf by pointing to her ears and shaking her head. King Kong was surprised to learn that she was Deaf, since he knew some sign language. He began to sign, “You are so beautiful. I want to marry you.” But in the process of signing “marry”, *King Kong smashed the girl into pieces.
*The sign for “marry” is one hand coming down and clasping the other.

Can you read?
After observing a Deaf person in a public place, a hearing man decided to approach him and find out if Deaf people are literate. He wrote “Can you read?” and handed the note to the deaf person. Disgusted with this kind of ignorance, the Deaf person wrote back, “No. Can you write?”

Deaf Tree
A lumberjack was busy working in the forest, chopping down trees. A responsible lumberjack, he would yell “Timber” each time a tree was felled. One day he came upon a tree that would not fall, no matter how hard he chopped or how loud he yelled. After consulting with his fellow lumberjacks, he decided to call a tree doctor. When the tree doctor examined the tree, his diagnosis was that the tree was Deaf and could not hear the signal “Timber”. The prescription was for the lumberjack to learn the manual alphabet. He mastered the alphabet and fingerspelled T I M B E R to the tree. Lo and behold, the tree began to fall.

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Categories: Humor
  1. August 12, 2008 at 6:47 am

    Birds on the telephone line is new one to me, that was good and funny.

  2. August 12, 2008 at 8:54 am

    OLD, OLD, OLLLLLLLLLD jokes. Pulled them out of some old Deaf joke book, right?

  3. Laughing at Dr. DonG
    August 12, 2008 at 9:33 am

    Doctor DonG,

    Now I know your age! You are an old, old, ollllllld man.

  4. RLM
    August 12, 2008 at 11:16 am

    Yes, all classic deaf jokes except the new twists with Birds on Telephone Line.

    RLM

  5. August 12, 2008 at 11:59 am

    all new someone who doesn’t sign.
    It would be really cool to have the ASL version next to the translation!

  6. drmzz
    August 12, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    I have to laugh cuz Fookem is that young lady on the beach. Marry = squash!

  7. Just Jodi in the Netherlands
    August 12, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    omg those are CLASSICS,,, THANKS so much for posting them
    whoohooo LOL

  8. Anonymous
    August 12, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    DrDonG, Quit complain

    I never heard of other and I know about “The Invisible Handicap.” and it was very funny, I laughed and something that I have not heard of deaf jokes. Be nice!

    It made me laughed and remind me new deaf joke.

    Deaf Pixie

  9. August 12, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    DrDonG,

    Timber Tree, I have heard lot of old joke, I never complained if it is old deaf joke.

  10. August 12, 2008 at 11:04 pm

    Dr. DonG,

    Hope you care about the history of Deaf jokes. If not, you are so funniest!

    Bug

  11. Mike
    August 13, 2008 at 12:26 am

    No jokes on Dr DonG’s website. No wonder he is a bitter, bitter man.

  12. linda
    August 16, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    from Northern Ireland

    loved your jokes ha ha

    linda

  13. June 21, 2010 at 1:08 am

    Lol I loved all those jokes and they are old but they are fun. I love reading them over and over again, and my hearing friends love them too.

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