Happy Halloween To you from Fookem,Jimactor, JFLMad, Bug

Scary DeafRead Bone Soup

By Bug

On Fookem’s way home from the market, he took a short cut through the DeafRead cemetery. There, sticking up out of the ground, he saw a big deaf bone. He picked it up and looked it over carefully.

Fookem signed to himself, “ This will make a very good soup bone, I think I will take it home. It’s perfect weather for hot soup. My father Jimactor and brother JFLMad will enjoy the soup.”

When he got home, the first thing he did was start the soup. Into the big soup pot went water, carrots, green beans, corn, barley, onions, potatoes, a snitch of beef, some salt and pepper, and the bone. He brought it all to a boil, then brought it down to a simmer.

“Yum!” he signed, sniffing it and tasting it. “ I can hardly wait till supper. I must get my father and brother to come and eat with me.”

Fookem’s blackberry pager shook wildly. He picked it up and read. The message said, “ May I have back my bone, please?”

He paid not attention. Soon he saw his shaky pager again. Same message came in. He chose to ignore it. He flashed his kitchen light to get his father and brother’s attention. They came in and sat down. Soup smelled so good.

JFLMad said, “ HOLD!!! Where is Bug? We should email and ask him to join us for dinner! We love him like a buggy brother!”

Jimactor said, “ Yes! I agree! Let’s call him!”.

Fookem said, “ nahh! Not my problem! He is too busy with his cold hearing-mute girlfriend. Did you see his story at our website? Go and check it at http://fookembug.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/bug-got-a-new-cold-hearingmute-girlfriend/ Leave him alone. He is a fool for being with a cold-hearted girlfriend“

They laughed and agreed to eat without Bug. They were so happy eating their first deaf bone soup.

Fookem’s pager shook, and again he didn’t take any notice. In a little while, the annoying-loud shaken pager did not work enough to get his attention. There was a strange ghosty message writing on the wall as if it spoke up once more. It was beginning to sound angry… “ GIVE ME BACK MY BONE!”.

Everyone kept ignoring it.

“Some deaf people are too impatient,” he muttered.

The videophone (vp) flasher turned on to blind everyone. Fookem ran and grabbed his useless vp remote under the web. A unhappy spider bite his finger because he destroyed the web. Fookem signed, “OUCH!” then he sucked his finger to make himself feel better. He looked at a spider and signed, “ Go away, you little fool!” Then he blew it off the wooden table.

He answered the vp. The caller was Bug! Fookem asked, “ What do you want? We are eating…”

Bug said, “ know what? I saw the rumors from DeafRead people saying that someone took the bone of Alexander Graham Bell out of DeafRead cemetery ! Let’s make the report …… they depend on us because we Hear all, See all, Know all, and Share all. Do you know anything about the bone?????”

Fookem’s eyes opened wide like a night owl.

Then his pager got on fire. It became a written language in the smoke, “ I WANT MY BONE BACK!”. The message was very angry and it was so loud that the whole house shook.

Jimactor and JFLMad ran out of house.

Fookem screamed and used his foolish facial expression in ASL, “ FINNNISSSSHHHH” and hung up on Bug. He ran to the Deaf kitchen and reached into the pot, grabbed the bone, and threw it out the window. In a strong deaf voice just as loud, he signly shouted,
“TAKE IT!”

Bug rang and rang…fookem ran to vp snd pick up the phone. Bug wanted to sign ” STOP! DROP! ROLL!” then he hunng up.

What does a Deaf ghost sign…..

Question: What does a Deaf ghost sign (say) to another Deaf ghost?

Answer: “Do you believe in people?”

Bug got a new cold HearingMute girlfriend

Written by Silly Bug

Okay, so maybe I’m not your typical falltime guy, but when the weather gets cold, the bugs move in your home because you have a nice fireplace. You have to learn to get along with the bugs. It’s better than the summertime guys buzzing around your nifty little lamp outside your front door starts poulling double duty. Moths flash and dart in the glow of the porch light. Fireflies put on a show in your yard. Just imagine what the light show would look like if the fireflies were forty feet long! They must be lonely without soulmates.

I flew to the downtown in Denver. I stared into JcPenny’s store window as the hearingmute gal undresses for new clothes. All that genetically-altered food not only make me big, it makes me excited for human women. Go figure. Geneticistis the world over, let this be a lesson to you. She is very sweet and quiet. I start liking her more and more. She is very smoothe and hard. If I want to cry, she would stare at me without a word until I feel better. How did I meet her? In the summertime I was standing in the front of clothing store at Denver Downtown. I was a peddler trying to make money. She was behind the window looking at me all day. I felt sorry for her because she didn’t have clothes on. I put my old Gallaudet sport jacket on her. Oh gosh, I feel loved! When I hug her……she gave me cold love. I like that! Her body is strong and hard like a rock. She loves watching me while I type for FookemBug. I don’t feel lonely anymore. She helps me to think and express better…..she should be a good FookemBug advisor. Oh gosh! I love her. Hope someday you will meet her. Here’s two pictures…..

Deaf Jokes

The Invisible Handicap
A hearing man was fascinated with a deaf woman who was sitting in a bar. He decided to strike up a conversation with her by writing notes on a piece of paper. To his delight, she was friendly enough to write aback. They wrote back and forth for some time. Another man jumped into the conversation and began to write too. All three continued their conversation by writing. After a while, the deaf woman realized she was late for a commitment and told her new friends that she needed to leave. The two men waved good-bye and continued to write, not realizing that neither one of them was deaf.

Birds on a Telephone Line
A child asked his father why the birds on a telephone line were kind of jumpy while other birds on a different line were sitting quietly. After a moment of thinking, his father replied that that particular line was a TTY line, causing the birds to jump.

King Kong
On a hot summer day, many people were frolicking at a local beach until King Kong appeared on the scene. Seeing the huge ape, people began to scream and hustle off the beach, except for one lovely young lady. Unaware of all the commotion, the woman continued to sunbathe peacefully. Having scared everyone away, King Kong approached the only remaining person on the beach and scooped her in his hands. She was frightened and began to scream. King Kong tried to tell her how beautiful she was. She indicated that she was Deaf by pointing to her ears and shaking her head. King Kong was surprised to learn that she was Deaf, since he knew some sign language. He began to sign, “You are so beautiful. I want to marry you.” But in the process of signing “marry”, *King Kong smashed the girl into pieces.
*The sign for “marry” is one hand coming down and clasping the other.

Can you read?
After observing a Deaf person in a public place, a hearing man decided to approach him and find out if Deaf people are literate. He wrote “Can you read?” and handed the note to the deaf person. Disgusted with this kind of ignorance, the Deaf person wrote back, “No. Can you write?”

Deaf Tree
A lumberjack was busy working in the forest, chopping down trees. A responsible lumberjack, he would yell “Timber” each time a tree was felled. One day he came upon a tree that would not fall, no matter how hard he chopped or how loud he yelled. After consulting with his fellow lumberjacks, he decided to call a tree doctor. When the tree doctor examined the tree, his diagnosis was that the tree was Deaf and could not hear the signal “Timber”. The prescription was for the lumberjack to learn the manual alphabet. He mastered the alphabet and fingerspelled T I M B E R to the tree. Lo and behold, the tree began to fall.

My “First” Silly Video

By Bug

Just wanted to play with my new camcorder. My friend Fookem challenged me to make a silly video. He thought that I would not show “myself” in the public. I told him that I can do if I want. He called me “chicken(bleep)! Now, who’s a winner? ME! LOL! 

Having a bad day? If ya need some laughs? No problem…go and get the popcorn then sit back and relax while watching this nonsense video that I made. 

New Sign Language Book

LOST DEAF PET

LOST ONE LARGE DEAF APE who believes he’s a king. Last seen scaling a very large building in the New York area fighting off an array of planes. Is known to be fond of blondes and bananas. Need him back for a sqeuel and merchandising rights. Contact Fookem, Bug, JFLMad, or Jimactor ASAP at 800-ban-nana

 

No Evil Monkeys

Once Upon A Time In Gally….

By JFLMad

Fookem, Trevor Patten, Rob Drake (our roommates) and I were making a funny video out of our boredom when we were in gally in the year of 1996. It was taken place in the lobby of Carlin Hall dorm on the 7th floor (room 703). I transferred the video from the old vhs tape and you can see that the picture quality is not that good. Please be bear with it and enjoy the funny video that we created!

We have few more of old videos to share….will post it in few weeks later.