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Stereotypes

February 21, 2013

By Jimactor

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Categories: Deaf Blog/Vlog
  1. Moi
    February 21, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    I smiled through your vlog. I remember some of these griefs, but I suspect it is because others may thought these “extra info” would show the newly introduced people that they do have more in common than they think. But you’re right — let them find out for themselves!

    And yes, yes, I hated being introduced as my (man’s name) wife… ’cause it turned out that we are now divorced (after 20 years of marriage) – and I’m now being introduced as “the ex-wife”. Aughhhh! I can’t win!!

  2. February 21, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    Hi! Yep! I agree with you with that! I think this is probably come from when you letting person know whatever he/she is Deaf or hearing.
    Maybe that’s why they said he’s black, he’s Jewish. I could be wrong. But I think maybe that’s the reason here. :)

  3. February 21, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    Yeah I do that…I think that it has to do with visual-concept reference which I apply to that situation of what Charlene experienced for sake of visual memory function better thru relationship association. Deaf people has short memory problem, therefore needing visual-relationship identities to help to set up long term memory association. Moreover we tend to use social-association framework or system to reinforce other people how to approach properly in social interaction to reduce any communicative offenses or insults upon any new stranger. Yet it also has set back disadvantage for that person who is introduced, not to make friends easily caused by stereotype labels.

    I learned not to use “but” in my introduction or comment of anyone. For example, I mentioned someone as “gay but smart” to a friend (another gay) who became upset about that offense or insult. I was puzzled. He asked me why I used “but” instead of “and” since existence of gay and lesbians should be normal. There I realized that was my bad habits dying hardest because I was brainwashed by my English Professors to use “nevertheless”, “however”, etc. which function like that of “but” in other words I tried to impress that, despite of his being gay, he is smart as my way of telling others to look at their positive side of coin as most important aspect to know about. It is like hearing culture way of dancing around the truth.

    Oh, thank you, you make me my day because I felt terrible about that bad habit ans thought I was alone in that situation…..whew now I know more people have that same problem as mine!!

  4. February 21, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    Pearl Swan Youth’s edited section…..

    Yeah I do that…I think that it has to do with visual-concept reference which I apply to that situation of what Charlene experienced for sake of visual memory function better thru relationship association. Deaf people has short memory problem, therefore needing visual-relationship identities to help to set up long term memory association. Moreover we tend to use social-association framework or system to reinforce other people how to approach properly in social interaction to reduce any communicative offenses or insults upon any new stranger. Yet it also has set back disadvantage for that person who is introduced, not to make friends easily caused by stereotype labels.

    I learned not to use “but” in my introduction or comment of anyone. For example, I mentioned someone as “gay but smart” to a friend (another gay) who became upset about that offense or insult. I was puzzled. He asked me why I used “but” instead of “and” since existence of gay and lesbians should be normal. There I realized that was my bad habits dying hardest because I was brainwashed by my English Professors to use “nevertheless”, “however”, etc. which function like that of “but” in other words I tried to impress that, despite of his being gay, he is smart as my way of telling others to look at their positive side of coin as most important aspect to know about.

    It was bad imitation of hearing culture’s paternalistic-attitude way of dancing around the truth.

    Oh, thank you, you make me my day because I felt terrible about that bad habit ans thought I was alone in that situation…..whew now I know more people have that same problem as mine!!

  5. NL
    February 22, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Deaf people tend to be blunt so they do not see anything wrong in their introduction of new people. Deaf people also tend to go in details, even some of them are not appropriate. Maybe it has to do with visual-concept reference. One time I was introduced to a deaf man by my friend and in front of him, she said he used to be a woman. I almost died that time, and it led that man to talk a lot about himself. I found some parts embarrassing because I did not know him.

  6. February 22, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    I guess my pet peeve is the fact that people have to say something like this “see see that woman..she is American but live in other country” ok big deal SO I DO LIVE in Europe..but when it comes to my Dutch husband..” that man not from America he is from another country do not talk to him his language is not AMERICAN” well excuse me.. that may be true, but he does speak English and does sign some ASL..People can be totally INSENSITIVE and yes totally inappropriate, and they of course see nothing wrong with it. I avoid trying to get myself in situations such as what Jim described, its a sticky thing..but it HAPPENS.. not saying I NEVER stumble and say those things, believe me I have done it, and has caused alot of embarassment not just for me but the people involved,, so to be a GROWN UP I have to make sure my mind is in gear before I sign or say something,, being human also means allowing one to make mistakes from time to time :-) well done Jim on another fun video, gives us time to think and say OMG yea I have done that,, and OMG I gotta learn NOT do do that.

  7. February 23, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Keep in mind that those born Deaf, quasi native signers lack short term memory skills next to language development in left hemisphere of their brains because they did not use sign language before age of 6, to stimulate those two needed “neighbor” areas in their left hemisphere aspects of human brains. Therefore visual-concept reference is what they need to take that place in order to have the connection become permanent. Deafened, Genetic Deaf and hard of hearing have that memory skill better than us the born Deaf, quasi native signers. They with language development done at their infancy, therefore see no need for references of visual-concept-association framework.

  8. Catherine
    February 24, 2013 at 7:27 am

    I totally can relate with Jim. Growing up as the only deaf child in a hearing family with 4 siblings. I have learnt that it does not occur only among deaf people. It might occur MORE with deaf people. Hearing people do it as well. I’ve been introduced in many different ways. It always starts as this is Catherine.. followed by the sorts: my deaf sister, my deaf daughter, the deaf worker, the smart one etc. I noticed amongst the hearing population, my “disability” is the first thing they tend to point out while amongst the deaf population my “intelligence” is the first thing they tend to point out. When one begins to introduce me and adds something to my name. I always follow by I’m “just” Catherine. I’m contented with if one introduces me as, Catherine my childhood friend, my co-worker, the lady I was telling you about, One of the things I have often wondered if because ASL is a very descriptive language, perhaps it causes one to feel they need to describe the person as a whole when introducing their name. Just like reading a book, the author introduces the character in the book and describes the character. Perhaps we’ve begun to view people we know as characters in our lives. (not saying that’s a bad thing- just offering different perspectives)

  9. February 24, 2013 at 8:47 am

    I also grew up with 3 hearing siblings and hearing parents, when I became deaf I was always introduced as JODONNA then “shes deaf but can read your lips “.. much later in life I found out that it was a bit too descriptive, when they seem to emphaszie on the DISABILITY rather than the person, granted maybe they felt if they did emphasize on the DISABILITY I might have less of a hassle communicating with the person I was introduced to, however now at my age, I would rather be known as just JODONNA :-)

  10. February 24, 2013 at 9:18 am

    Catherine :
    I totally can relate with Jim. Growing up as the only deaf child in a hearing family with 4 siblings. I have learnt that it does not occur only among deaf people. It might occur MORE with deaf people. Hearing people do it as well. I’ve been introduced in many different ways. It always starts as this is Catherine.. followed by the sorts: my deaf sister, my deaf daughter, the deaf worker, the smart one etc. I noticed amongst the hearing population, my “disability” is the first thing they tend to point out while amongst the deaf population my “intelligence” is the first thing they tend to point out. When one begins to introduce me and adds something to my name. I always follow by I’m “just” Catherine. I’m contented with if one introduces me as, Catherine my childhood friend, my co-worker, the lady I was telling you about, One of the things I have often wondered if because ASL is a very descriptive language, perhaps it causes one to feel they need to describe the person as a whole when introducing their name. Just like reading a book, the author introduces the character in the book and describes the character. Perhaps we’ve begun to view people we know as characters in our lives. (not saying that’s a bad thing- just offering different perspectives)

  11. February 24, 2013 at 9:22 am

    I agree with you, Catherine that it is more of introduction of character to give others opportunity to find something to talk about or to adapt to that character’s way of communication at that character’s level of communication and knowledge. It is like trying to fit into that puzzled piece of that character being introduced in reality. I know that it doesn’t always worked but most of time it does. Hmmm.

  12. February 24, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Jodi van Keeken- Hamilton :
    I also grew up with 3 hearing siblings and hearing parents, when I became deaf I was always introduced as JODONNA then “shes deaf but can read your lips “.. much later in life I found out that it was a bit too descriptive, when they seem to emphaszie on the DISABILITY rather than the person, granted maybe they felt if they did emphasize on the DISABILITY I might have less of a hassle communicating with the person I was introduced to, however now at my age, I would rather be known as just JODONNA

  13. February 24, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I understand your feeling of frustration, Jodi. Guess what they from our ISD still do nowadays about me whom they had not seen for more than 35 years?! When they did not recognized me, someone said, “remember that girl who exercised like this ….that make her breast bigger..” It fumed me because I knew I never exercised like that. Moreover when I was involved in gymnastics, my breast size became smallest in 1981. I had witness who grew up with me at ISD and visited me in California in 1981. That symbol of stupid exercise for “enlargening breast size” was all they knew about me. Sigh!

  14. February 24, 2013 at 10:22 am

    Frustration??? nah it is a source of amusement for me,,, yep I understand where U are coming from about people who have not seen me for years, then they will say OH I REMEMBER U WHEN U WERE SO SKINNY YOU ARE NOW SO FAT WHAT HAPPEN??
    Bluntness like that is a source of embarassment to me, I try not to do that with any one. I have become a bit more SENSITIVE to others and try not to tread on the insensitive side that deafies tend to dish out.
    Or they will come up to me and ask whats wrong with deaf or american men ( since my present husband is HEARING and DUTCH)..again its NONE OF THEIR BUISNESS, but they feel the need to PRY maybe not intentionally but they do it and think nothing of it, like it is their right to know. Or if I am speaking to my husband, deafies standing by me expect me to INTERPRET what I said, thats personal. You get what I mean Pearl ????

  15. February 24, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    Yeah Jodi, (if u don’t mind my calling your childhood name?? Which remind me of sweet, wise yogi) I agree w/ u about “how fat you are” or “how old you look” remarks I saw others comment on me. I don’t mind these this time, saying to myself, “That’s the psychological subconscious state of Deaf Culture Child in everyone in Deaf Community, period, which automatically pops out of control to desire to live in past or youthood. Oh, we’ll…we move on.

  16. February 24, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Indeed we move on,,,,,,,,,,,,,, nothing we can do about changing the clock back ( as much as we wish we could .)

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